But this one was a little too unsettling to not talk about. I think it’s the combination of crazy stress, life circumstances, and how the deeply weird experiences that I’ve experienced in the last couple weeks in the outside world affected me that have been bouncing around in my head. I’m just doing this as I’m processing it (and in my ultra-secret journal I’ve put in a very badly written, raw emotion, I want to cry my eyes out forever and not do anything else version) that I’ll adapt to be a little more palatable to a blog.

Btw if you’re interested in what the collages are they’re just collages of photographs I’ve taken in the past.

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I’m so sorry for oscillating between the desire to be living and to be dead. I’ll spend a whole day with you just to say goodbye. You shut your eyes unfruitfully. Please stop visiting my grave.

I died still fully loving you.

I’ll surround myself with your arms forever.